Kill for money. The more she says it, the more I'm actually convinced I might do it.

And in the end, it's money that made me feel the love. Shame, guilt, but love.

This love hate relationship with materialistic comforts, plastic self-esteem. It's going to haunt us for life isn't it?

It's cliche, but I'm not a killer... I AM DRACO MALFROY YOUR FATHER.

HONGKONGHONGKONGHONGKONGHONGKONG
HONG KONG
HONG KONG
HONG KONG
HONG KONG
HONG KONG
HONG KONG
HONG KONG
HONG KONG

I'm not as excited as I sound!

(Not-so) Gentle reminder: Voting period is 4th April - 24th May.

Fucking unglam. 4 hella strong headlights get switched on at 7pm. The heat doesn't kill, but the glare, UGH the damn glare ! I put my sketchbook on top of one, and >10mins later, it caught fire. NO JOKE. First few pages are burnt through and flaking, badly. Thinking how the hell am I going to explain this to my lecturers/assessors.

A personal best - 10km in 1hr07mins !! :D :D

Okay so I cheated, its >400m per round in Maplewood park, so technically 26 rounds would be 9km++. But fuck it, I was jumping to Pitbull's Crazy in utter adrenaline bliss !

Aiming to complete Saucony 10km Run under 1hr 20mins, possible ? HELL YEAH ! :D

And I've got Dragon boat later today. Well, at least I'll get my tan.

Who the fuck knew... from an ex-PE monitress -smirks at other ex-PE monitress.


I was walking from Dhoby Gaut to PoMo when an inspirational poster outside a church caught my eye - "When you fall down, you don't stay down" or something to that extent. At the same moment,

"sing hallelujah, sing to the Lord
I'm suppose to sing hallelujah
I'm suppose to sing when the world caves in"

Took me by surprise, how did a christian song sneak into my mp3 player ?
The night before I dreamt I was awaiting death due to an incurable condition. I almost broke down right there in the middle of the street. Ya - how bloody drama.

1st public sculpture, 1st marathon/run (hopefully), 1st to-be tattoo in my 21th year.
Life's good.

http://www.facebook.com/photo_search.php?oid=146365370053&view=all#/photo.php?pid=30316101&op=1&o=all&view=all&subj=146365370053&aid=-1&oid=146365370053&id=1363907414

Inspired by Andy Warhol’s iconic Campbell soup cans, pop art sculpture – “POP Soup” will appeal to the students from the arts school in the area, and will hopefully breathe life into the place in terms of overall space and atmosphere. I like the idea of the soup appearing to be spilling, but suspended in air. Bottom line – it is playful, photograph worthy, and serves it’s purpose as a catalyst to encourage hungry passerbys to enter the building for nourishment.



Please come down to PoMo shopping center (former paradiz center) to cast a vote for the "POP Soup" if you have the time. Many thanks. Hell, you might even win prizes... even though most of their tenons are f&b places.

I'm rather satisfied; I ran 50mins on the treadmill today. Not my best, but it's the longest I've pushed myself, and mind you, I was panting like a dog (yes, my tongue was dangling out of my mouth in the most unglam manner) before I hit 40mins.

Will train up to 1hr - have perseverance !

But I'm rather depressed; I got criticized at my critique session yesterday. By the programme chair. The same guy who said the same thing as my last sem critique - too flat, too 2D, too boring.

But that's nothing compared to my revolution today. My works highly resemble my lec's works. Last sem, my clay resembled A's studies, but I had my own "style". This sem, my joinery is scarily identical to Z's. Understandably, others will be fast to conclude or condemn that I have either copied, or subconsciously followed. I should feel grateful I can even hold a candle, but hell, I've hardly seen any of their works. My technician - S, says either I have to make a conscious effort to change, or I'll be sparring with someone who's better and experienced. A graduated student who have studied under A and Z - let's call him Y, works follows A's style to an extent others think it IS A's work. Y is pissed off about it.

And I'm oddly upset. A voice of reason says I should suck it up and change and not give a shit cos I won't (and can't) be a practising (or sustainable) artist in the future anyway, but a voice of indigence, stubbornness, and artistic egoness contemplates - forcing change won't be me, will it ?

This guy gives me the willies, but I LOVE it.

I'm tired even though I've napped for a couple of hours so sorry if the english sucks here. Just got to suck it up for a few more hours before the meeting at 930am. Heads will roll if I don't attend/step into ws 1 minute late. Maybe I'll just wear the bloody skirt to shut them up.

Not in the mood to get any work done now. I'll probably chiong them a good half hour before my 5pm class, yay.

But I have sudden excitment about the idea of throwing a 21th bday bash :D Combined celebration with JY on 8th Aug at (goddamn cliche but bo bian) function room with halloween/superheroes theme party. Eat before coming, or simple catering, or 3 pizzas 2 sherperds pies2 golden pillows delivery ? Or just hire Charissa & Co. to cook ?

I'm not usually one to kick a fuss about bdays, nor be willing to spend very much. The excitment will probably die down/exhaust itself before august actually comes.

But imagine a room full of scary/sexyy/vampire/werewolf/batgirl costumes !! NO COSTUME NO ENTRY and this time, I'm bloody serious.

My stomach is churning. So think I'll go jog. mApLeWoOd pArK hErE i cUmZzZ (I am so annoying)


P.S. - My ideal 21th present would be a hot DYKE ON BIKE :D :D
or
JESSICA ALBA
or
BOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's that slight shiver that sparks from your tongue to your eyes and your brain, and sends tremors down your spine into your chest, and spreads onto your skin, and makes your fine hairs stand.

Bitter coffee. I relish that pleasurable shiver. Very much similar to the bodily reactions we receive from blissful release.

Hello library, tomorrow, again, for the 3rd bloody time in the last 4 days. While I find philosophy strangely fascinating, essays are pressurizing to me; very odd perfectionist in that area. Very love-hate relationship.

Of course I'd rather be slacking with the gang. Rockband, guitar heroes (DAMN YOU CHARISSA I WANT CLUSTERS!!!), teh tarik/ping, blop blop tea, camwhoring in slutty/innocent school girl dressups (unleashed fetish -sniggers).

Only if the love came without calories.

Like many previous nights, I find myself against the wall in my balcony. But much too early - the night hasn't darkened, the noises from the kitchen downstairs and neighbours kitchens has yet to cease.

I'm slightly shivering from the cold. I can't exactly complain but clothes just seem so unnatural and uncalled for at the rate they will get soiled.

Just me, my wood, blue foam, clay, rusty but trusty (aha) tools, and my nightlight. Just finished my last miserable stick. At times like this, I half-wished there was cig delivery services. No sticks to hold me for the next 12 hours.

I used to think they were like candy, you pop them as and when you want for nothing more than temporary enjoyment. Then I realized I could hardly go without them for 1 day straight. I suppose when they are what gets you out of bed in the morning, or what calms your nerves (even though it requires 5 at a shot to do its job), you are pretty goddamn a goner. Throw in the fact I convinced myself to substitute sticks for food, I was adamant about not having it any other way. When it came to calculating budgets, they had a separate column, next to my transportation and materials.

Looking back, I'd like to think it has changed. Still, smirking mirthlessly at those who swore upon quitting, sticks are what I refer now to as "safety nets". I crave them less, but the mere thought of having them tucked away in my bag - in the mornings, during classes/breaks, all-nighters in the balcony, it makes me feel unnerved, relieved, almost safe. It will make me feel better. Whether it really does, remains consciously unexplored. After all, I wouldn't have it any other way right ?

Dry, dreary. And clueless.

804pm and its a sign to continue with my preciousss.

It's not that I don't want to update, but my laptop moves like a snail, and hangs constantly. Uploading images is a BITCH.

Maybe I'll backup all my images and upload them downstairs. Yeah, maybe I'll do that.

My infamous "butt"Finally became this (top left) No I don't like the form, but I had no choice due to time constrain yadda

And my baby (:

40+cm by 25+-cm, 2 cracks and 1 hole. My Clay final, my thank-God-it-didn't-explode-in-the-kiln love.

I (L)(L) my friends (:

I'm such a cheeseball, but they always pull through, somehow. This is a love post, yo.

JY: Ah, you know. It's probably more than the 21 reasons why, more than any girl/boy/CAT (it BETTER be). Sorry I probably burst your hp bills over the last month or so. ONS when you're back please :D SMIRKS. Btw, fictiouslywhat ??

Vanessssa: My number 1 person to be a nuisance to when I'm drunk and puking. Yes, chicks over dicks/pussies always. It's going to be KNNCCB hard, but I will be here, even if others won't or whatever. Least I can do after getting you all wet (POON intended).

Sherlyne: Sorry we haven't been updating each other. Your killer (?) maths+ducky tours, my lasalle life=no life, blah blah. Bitching sessions at the prata shop (: Eh, apparently I reveal my true inner diva self when I'm smashed ?? Lol. Sigh, misses and still hearts. Biennale Fri right ??????????

Charissa: Eh, DITCHER. Haha, the session at Grapevine was short, too short. How's professional slacker turned intern life working out ? I know you're itching to club okay :D Dammit hate my endless work :(

Sharmagne won't read this, but I hearts you, even given your.. flaws. We all have flaws right. But thank you, and xOxOxXOOoxX.

Melissa..... RIP

Kidding :D


It's an irony, how life turns out. Karma bites hard in the ass, but I'll look back, 5 years from now and laugh at the most fucked up times, the most fucked up situations that can occur, now. A 4-in-1 deal. Hell, I'm laughing now.

25th July

Bringing cameras to work is a ceremonial farewell gesture.

But no, I just wanted to camwhore.

In and out of uniform.

25th July

Singapore Night Festival

Baby, where are the fine things you promised me?

http://www.wherearethefinethings.blogspot.com

30th July

MOS

I've been working in Sentosa for the last month, mainly in Fort Siloso, though sometimes me and my colleagues get dragged down to Songs of the Sea.

Close to 1 month - good lord, this marks the longest I've been able to hold down a job ! Politics are inevitable, although not a major issue within Fort with one eye closed.

We don't have a problem with the other attractions, just with SOS, which isn't a big secret. They have 30+ staff - the highest number in attraction ops, and can't even find 18 staff to perform their 4hr shift ?

Minus the SOS rant, work is sometimes fun, although it sucks the life out of my physical (and often mental) being; resulting in feeling underpaid. But like many others in our corporate world, souls on sale for monetary returns ?

SOS - Songs Of the Sea
SOS - Save Our Souls
SOS - Souls On Sale

I see my 1st paycheck.
20% -> CPF (SCREW CFP!)
180 -> Driving
50 -> Owe mother
100 -> Contribute to jie's 21th bday
The rest of month is beggar style yo. I'm looking forward to my 2nd paycheck already.

This is a stale post, but really, my life is work. But on the up side, I'm going to breathe fresh air into my food blog, soon !

Behavior outside the cultural norms (of only traditional Asian countries perhaps) fascinate me. Boys singing soprano in choirs, dancing ballet. Girls.. beat boxing ?

I like little boys with girly powerhouse voices. Shit, I'm the next Micheal Jackson.








Not girly but fuck, 12 year old singing opera !

But I like female vocals deep and sensuous. (NOT the real video, but this Sims stimulation is kinda funny)

Many thanks to all my models (willing or unwilling).

Vanessa

Melissa

Sharmagne especially, because she posed for a omg >3hrs for my first still-life (wth weird angle!)

And to my sisters, for "posing", and even obliging me with semi-nude poses. I sketch them when they sleep sometimes, so when they open their eyes and see me glaring at them, I will flash my biggest and most innocent smile, they will roll their eyes and go back to sleep, letting me return to my devices. They know they're my practice targets. Quite suay to be my siblings.

But here's Dawn, incomplete because she tosses a lot in her slumber. (Weird angle!)

Got a 20 minute bus ride ?
Waiting for a friend at a cafe with nothing to do ?

Sketch a stranger !

Thus far, there seems to be 3 stages of my drawing.

First: Overly detailed, coloring blunt strokes shading, no emphasize on darker tones. Started with chicken outline. See "Sharmagne"

Second: Messy, choppy strokes gone wild, bad control of tones. See "Vanessa" and "Melissa"

Third: Cleaner, more confident single stroke outlines, evenly spaced long lines, varying shades. Only fear is this is leaning a bit too much into illustration ? See "Dawn" and "Stranger"

Self-evaluation and critique is vital for improvement.

But somehow, I just lost my drive to continue. Kill self for such poor determination and zero passion, but subconsciously I guess I just gave up.

Look what flew in Monday night.



To-do Before Death:
Try Krispy Kreme Doughnuts

I feel obliged to make this post, simply because



1) I was actually present



2) I actually dug into WET soil with bare primitive tools as such sticks, stones and (ALMOST) fingernails



3) It was the grandest funeral I have ever been to



3) It was named after me, after all -_-







RIP JODY.



You died at a miserable age of 1 month.



Hoped the flowers she plucked made your death more bearable.

Young wanna look matured.

Matured wanna look young.


Sherlynie, Zhengie, my sister and many others fall into the 2nd category.

JY (sorry babe !) and I fall into the 1st.

Wouldn't life be much better ? If 7-11 aunties stop questioning, if bouncers stopped giving cynical glares, if random humans stop giving the "aren't you too young to be ___" looks, if bank promoters stop thinking we look 16.



But now, I've found a hugeass advantage looking like a punk !



"Sorry uncle, from here to Yishun street XXX how much ?"

"You student ah. 55 cents lo"

:D

Ever since then, when my ez-link is bankrupt, even if he tells me adult fare, I will look sheepishly at the uncle.

"Erm sorry uncle forgot to bring student card"

55 cents !

:D